Dom Howard and Matt Bellamy
by Cranberriez
Summary: A series of random moments with Matt and Dom from Muse. Enjoy xx
1. Episode 1: NO MILK!

"DOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" You jumped on your best friend, who was fast asleep on the sofa.  
>"Wha- oh. Morning, Polls."<br>"Dom, it's midnight."  
>"No, it's five past, <em>actually.<em> Which _is_ morning, so I am right-" He pushed you off the sofa. "and you are wrong."  
>"Shut up." You climbed back on to the sofa.<br>"Polly, there really isn't any room-" he protested.  
>"Oh well. I'm tired." You buried your head in his shoulder and he awkwardly put one arm round you to stop you falling off.<br>"Yeah... what on earth have you been doing?" He asked.  
>You gave a really loud, fake snore.<br>"I'll push you off again," Dom threatened.  
>"Oh fine. Our good friend Matthew Belli- B-Bellamy got me pissed." You slurred.<br>"Oh. Sounds fun." Dom said, clearly not interested. "Wait- have you thrown up yet?" He leaned back slightly, looking worried.  
>"I'm not <em>that<em> drunk." When he still didn't relax, you continued. "Dom, seriously, I just need sleep. Why are you on the sofa, anyway?" You weren't really interested either, just wanted to get Dom to relax a bit.  
>"You stole the key to my room." He said, sounding pissed off.<br>"Oh yeah! I forgot about that... Here ya go." You fumbled around and found the key, and handed it to him. He didn't look impressed.  
>"I think I'll stay here now, anyway." He said, putting the key safely out of your reach on the table behind the sofa.<br>"Just cos you want to sleep with me," you joked, and he smiled mischeiviously.  
>"Maybe..." He put his arm back over you, and you could feel his other arm snaking under your waist to join it. You sighed, really wanting to get to sleep.<br>"You're very comfy, Dom." You mumbled into his shoulder, your eyes shut.  
>"I try my best."<br>"You need a shave."  
>"...I'll get onto that in the morning."<br>"You smell strange." This time you pulled your head back and sniffed, not noticing the very amused look on Dom's face.  
>"In what way?" He asked.<br>"You don't smell of Dom any more." You confirmed after taking another couple of sniffs.  
>"Do I have a distinctive smell?"<br>"Yeah... but now you smell of... cupboards."  
>"Cupboards?" Dom was trying not to laugh by now, and it annoyed you.<br>"This is not a laughing matter. You are Dom, therefore you must smell like Dom. Not like... cupboards." Then, you realised how stupid you sounded, and mumbled "Shut up." at Dom's barely concealed laughter. You buried your face once again into his shoulder.  
>"Any type of cupboard in particular? A cleaning cupboard, or..."<br>"I said _shut up._"

You must have drifted off to sleep because when you woke up it was 5 in the morning, and the living room looked different in two ways- there was a hint of sunlight coming from the window, making the room lighter; and Matthew Bellamy was lying in an unconcious heap on the floor. Dom was asleep again, and you prised his arms open from around your back without waking him. You tiptoed over to Matt.  
>"Matt! Wake up." After a copious amount of shaking and a few slaps round the face, he half-opened his eyes.<br>"Leave me alone. I don't like you." He mumbled, and then promptly rolled over and started snoring.  
>"Well, that's lovely." You said to yourself. You were fully sober now, and there wasn't much chance of you getting back to sleep so you went out to the kitchen for a cup of tea.<br>When you were almost done you heard a dull thud from the next room, and rushed back to see that Dom had managed to roll off the sofa.  
>"Ow." He said, propping himself up on his elbow and rubbing his eyes. "Oh, hey Polls. You're... awake." he said the last part as if it was the most amazing compliment you could ever give to someone, and you smiled and rolled your eyes.<br>"Good morning Prince Charming. Cuppa tea?"  
>"Yes please." He said, getting to his feet and shuffling over to the mirror. He knew that whenever you called him 'Prince Charming', his hair must be in an absolute state.<br>You came back in with the tea to find a considerably well-groomed Dom and a hideous-looking Matt slouched on the sofa.  
>"I think this one needs coffee." You said, handing Dom his mug and poking Matt's cheek, to which he groaned in protest.<br>"How come you never get hangovers, Polls? It's not fair." Matt said, sliding further down on the sofa. You didn't answer, just went back into the kitchen with a smile on your face.  
>"NO MILK!" was the shout from the living room as you made up Matt's coffee.<br>"I know!" You called back.  
>"GOOD!"<br>"Matt, stop screaming, I'm only in the next room and you'll kill your voice. And get an even worse headache."  
>"What if I <em>FEEL LIKE IT<em>?"  
>"Then it's your own fault." You walked back into the room with Matt's coffee, and handed it to him, finally collapsing on the sofa in the gap Dom had made between him and Matt.<br>"Ow." Matt suddenly whined, holding a hand to his head.  
>"Well, I did tell y-"<br>"Shut _up._ You're hurting my brain."  
>"I'm terribly sorry, Matthew."<br>"I mean it."  
>"Fine."<br>You all sat in silence and drank your tea and coffee, until Dom suddenly spat his mouthful back into his mug.  
>"Lovely, Dom." You said, but he looked absolutely horrified.<br>"Ok, what are my drumsticks doing _down the toilet?_" He said, his horrified expression quickly turning to anger. You leaned over and looked trough the open bathroom door, and there they were- Dom's favourite drumsticks, only just visible, sticking out of the toilet.  
>"I was very,<em> very <em>drunk..." came the mumbled reply from your left.  
>Dom turned to look at Matt, absolutely seething.<br>"I'll leave you guys to it." You said, collected up the mugs, and hurried out into the kitchen.  
>They could sort this one out for themselves.<p> 


	2. Episode 2: Ta, Parrot

"Ready yet?"  
>"No." You shifted about on the piano seat. It was at the highest it could go, but it was still too low for you.<br>"Ready _now_?" Matt was getting annoyed.  
>"Yes, but you need to get a shorter piano." You sighed.<br>"Ok... 3,2,1- go."  
>You began to play, and Matt fiddled about with his controls. You couldn't hear what he was doing to it as your headphones only let you hear exactly what you were playing, without the effects.<br>"No! Fucking machine."  
>You stopped playing. "What?"<br>"It went WRONG! Like it always does."  
>You could see Matt was getting towards a tantrum. Not a good thing.<br>"Well, why don't we give it a rest? Or you tell me what to do, and you play, and I'll do the controls?" You gave him two options to try and ease him out of his strop.  
>"Are you suggesting that I'm not capable of DOING IT MYSELF?"<br>"Matt, you don't need to shout."  
>"I WANT TO SHOUT!"<br>"Well, I'm getting some lunch, anyway. Get Dom to do it."  
>"Dom can't play piano..." Matt whined, running up to behind you. "Pleeeeeeeeeease? Just try it once more..." You turned around and he was doing <em>the<em> face. The 'please?' face. But you were hungry...  
>"Matt, stop looking at me like that. I need food." You turned back round. If you looked at his 'please?' face for too long you were bound to give in.<br>"Well hurry up then." He sounded disgruntled, but he was still following you.  
>"I'm not making <em>you<em> anything, get your own lunch!" You stopped in the kitchen and started making a sandwich.  
>"Lunchtime?" Dom walked in, yawning and stretching.<br>"And when did you wake up?" You asked.  
>"About five minutes ago. Marmite, please." He answered.<br>"Cheese for me, Polls..." Matt decided to get his order in quick as well, and you eventually gave up and made them both sandwiches.

"3,2,1... go." Matt said for the fifth time after lunch. You sighed and began playing again, but this time there weren't any interruptions; the machine appeared to be working/Matt seemed to have worked out how to control it.  
>"Aaaaand... stop. Good good... so, that one, and that one..." Matt muttered to himself, writing down which controls he'd used on a post-it-note.<br>"Ow. I have a splinter." You said, fingering the little cut on the side of your finger.  
>"That's perfect." Matt said.<br>"My splinter's perfect?"  
>"Splinter?"<br>"Don't worry, Matt."  
>"What's up, dogs." Dom said as sarcastically as possible as he walked into the room.<br>"It's finally worked. Matt's pleased." You summed up for him, as Matt was too busy to answer. Dom sat on a cardboard box which had held a new snare drum last week, and it promptly collapsed in on itself, taking Dom with it. You snorted in laughter and played a little fanfare on the piano. "Introducing Dominic Howard: the most graceful-"  
>"Alright!" He said, climbing out and choosing to sit on the floor, instead.<br>"It was quite funny, though." You persisted.  
>"Matt didn't think so." Dom said, annoyed.<br>"Yeah, but he... didn't see it!"  
>"Yeah, but he must've <em>heard <em>it, at least..."  
>"Yeah, but just <em>hearing<em> it wouldn't be as funny!"  
>"Yeah, but-"<br>"WILL YOU TWO PLEASE _SHUT UP?_" Matt interrupted, and you both fell silent.

_**-Later on-**_  
>"No, the chicken was <em>mine<em>."  
>"No, I <em>swear<em> I had chicken... you had the prawn curry!"  
>"I don't even like prawns! I ordered <em>chicken!"<em>_  
><em>"Well _I_ didn't have the prawns."  
>"Neither did I!"<br>"Well we didn't both have chicken..."  
>"Exactly. I had chicken, and you had something else."<br>"No, _I_ had the chicken..."  
>"Guys, the other chicken is on the table, hidden in all that." You interjected, pointing to the mounds of take-away paper scrunched up on the table."<em>I<em> ordered prawns."  
>"Oh." Matt said.<br>"Ta, Parrot." Dom said.  
>"Do not call me Parrot."<br>"Oh come on, your name's Polly..."  
>You glared at him.<br>"Fine..." Dom reached across and found the third foil tin which was his tea, and you all began to eat.  
>"Seriously, the news is absolute bollocks. Why are we watching the news?" Matt whined.<br>"I just turned the telly on, we don't _have_ to watch the news..." You replied, and reached for the remote.  
>"No, I want to watch it." Dom said.<br>"You're only saying that because I don't want to!" Matt replied, and you could sense another pointless argument coming on.  
>"Hows about we watch the news, and take the piss out of it?" You suggested, sighing. Living with these two was like looking after a pair of five year olds.<br>But you wouldn't have it any other way.


	3. Episode 3: DOG YIM HO!

You woke up as your bedroom door was thrown open. A dark figure staggered into your room, and you fumbled to put the light on.  
>"AAAAH! Turn it <em>off<em>!" The sihlouette shouted, and you could tell two things: he was pissed out of his head, and he was Dom Howard. You turned the light back off.  
>"Dom, please shut the door or it'll get cold." You groaned. Your alarm clock showed you it was 2am, and you weren't in a good mood at being woken up so early. When Dom just stood there, swaying slightly, you got up to shut the door yourself. When you turned back he was in your bed.<br>"Dom! Go to your own room!"  
>"Aww, please lemme stay here..." He whined, and you struggled with yourself for a couple of seconds before giving in and climbing back into bed.<br>"Heyyyyy Plo... Polls." Dom said, and pulled you into a bear hug.  
>"Hi Dom." You sighed, trying to get back to sleep. He pulled back, but still had his arms round you. You could feel him staring at you though your eyes were closed, and it was a bit creepy.<br>"Dom, please stop staring at me."  
>"Norruntil you hug me back."<br>You put your arms round him, still with your eyes closed, and he relaxed.  
>"My head hurts."<br>You opened your eyes this time. "Well, that's because you've got yourself _very_ drunk."  
>"But I-"<br>"Dom, please, I need to get some sleep." You snuggled in closer to him for comfort, shutting your eyes again.  
>"But last time <em>you<em> were pissed I let you talk to me all the time, aaaand I didn't complain, aaaand I think I was quite nice about it, _actually_."  
>He had a point.<br>"Well... ok. What do you want to say?"  
>"Hmmmm..." He moved down into the duvet, shivering slightly. "Haha, you're taller than me now!" He said triumphantly. You had to smile.<br>"Yeah, but we're lying down, so it's not _much_ of an acheivement..."  
>"Oh well. You're warm, and I'm cold. And my head hurts." He closed his eyes and leaned in, resting his head against your neck. "Night night, parrot." He mumbled.<br>"Don't call me parrot." You said, annoyed.  
>"Aww, please? You can call <em>me<em> something... call me spiderdom." You smiled, your annoyance evaporated.  
>"You're quite cute when you're drunk, Dom."<br>"_Spider_dom. I've told you already."  
>"Ok then, sorry..."<br>He pulled himself closer to you.  
>"Love you, parrot."<br>You sighed and closed your eyes, resting your chin on the top of his head.  
>"Love you too, spiderdom."<br>__

_**-The next day-**__**  
><strong>_"OH MY GOD!"  
>You screamed, and awoke with a start.<br>"OOOOHHHH MMMMYYYY GGGOOOODDDD!"  
>"Matthew Bellamy, get the <em>fuck<em> out of my room! It's..." you looked over at the clock. "Half past seven in the morning!"  
>"I repeat... OH MY ACTUAL MOTHERFUCKING GOD!" He didn't leave.<br>"Matt, where the fuck have you got a megaphone from?" You asked as you realised what he was shouting through.  
>"I MADE IT! WOOOOOOOOO!"<br>"Matt, please go away." You turned back and snuggled into the warm thing beside you, trying to get back to sleep. Then you noticed that Dom was in your bed.  
>"Dom? What're you doing here?" You asked in the middle of a yawn. You weren't awake enough yet to remember.<br>"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" Matt had turned the three words into a kind of war cry, and was parading up and down the room. You were surprised Dom hadn't woken up yet.  
>"MATT! GO AWAY!" You screamed at him, and covered your ears with a pillow that you yanked out from underneath Dom's head. Unfortunately, this woke him up.<br>"Wha- fucking _hell!" _His hangover headache kicked in and he fell back down onto the bed.  
>"DOG YIM HO! OH MY GOD! DOG YIM HO! Y'see, it's oh my god, but <em>backwards!<em>" Matt shouted, and Dom groaned as the shouting was amplified in his head.  
>"Matthew, go and fuck up someone else's life. Please. Just for five minutes?" You complained from under your pillow.<br>"Oh. Um... okay then." He turned and walked limply from the room, instantly making you feel really guilty. But then that was probably his intention, so you ignored it.  
>"Owwwwww..." Dom was keeping up a constant whine, stopping only to take a breath.<br>"It'll get better if you shut up!" You chucked the pillow at him and got up, thorougly annoyed.  
>"Sorry, parrot, but it <em>hurts!<em>"  
>"I know. I'll go and find you some painkillers." You were too tired to snap at him for calling you parrot.<br>You threw on a dressing gown and went to find Dom some paracetemol, and faintly from downstairs you could hear the chilling sound of Matt Bellamy's falsetto- through a megaphone.  
><em><em>

_**-Laaaaater ooooon-**__**  
><strong>_You picked up the laptop.  
>Instantly Matt said "Don't break it."<br>"I _won't!_ Do you have to tell me not to break it every single time?"  
>"Well, you never know," He grinned at you, and you rolled your eyes.<br>Then Dom walked in through the front door, wearing a new pair of skinnies that were bright yellow.  
>Matt glanced up and said "Bloody hell, not another pair..."<br>You glanced up and said "Ah, it'll show up the dirt."  
>The you and Matt both went back to whatever you'd been doing. Dom wasn't impressed.<br>"Well _I_ like them." He huffed, sitting down.  
>"Yeah, I'll walk into your room tonight and find you snogging them... or worse." Matt said, completely dead-pan.<br>"Oy! I do _not _get... pleasure out of my skinnies!" Dom said crossly. You and Matt snorted with laughter, and Dom's face grew redder.  
>"Awww, he's blushing!" You said, and he shot a withering glance at you.<br>"She doesn't mean it, Dom." Matt said.  
>"Oy! You were teasing him as well, don't just dump the blame on me!"<br>"Yeah, but you just took it too far."  
>"How did I! You suggested that he fucks his own clothes!"<br>"I did not." Matt said, still not looking up.  
>"Yeah, you just have a dirty mind, Polls." Dom added, not missing the chance to join in before you could start on <em>him<em> again.  
>"Oh shut up, you <em>both<em> know that's what he meant." You logged on to the laptop, thoroughly annoyed- once again.  
>"Damn it!" Dom suddenly said.<br>"What?"  
>"Got a massive black mark on the back!" He replied, indicating his new skinnies.<br>You flashed him a smug grin. "Told you so."


	4. Episode 4: Put your finger down!

"GUESS WHAT!"  
>"What?"<br>"I'm PREGNANT!"  
>"Really? Who's the father?"<br>That caught him out.  
>Matt Bellamy paused in the doorwayof the living room, fiddling with the hem of his shirt. "Erm... I am."<br>"If you were the _father_, you wouldn't be pregnant, would you? Think it through, Matt..." you sighed, and tried to get back to your book.  
>"But I impregnated MYSELF! HAHAHAHA!"<br>"Matt, I'm trying to read."  
>"Polly, I'm trying to annoy you. Figure?" He tilted his head to one side. "What're you reading?"<br>"None of your business."  
>"What're you reading?"<br>"Matt, go away."  
>"What're you reading?"<br>"John Steinbeck, for god's sake! Will you leave me alone yet?"  
>He jumped on the sofa, next to you.<br>"I'll take that as a no." You muttered to yourself.  
>"Sit on my lap."<br>"No."  
>"Sit on my lap."<br>"No."  
>"Sit on my lap."<br>"Matt, repeating yourself won't make it happen."  
>"Hypocrite. You gave in last time. Sit on my lap."<br>"No."  
>He grabbed you and lifted you onto his lap.<br>"Matt!"  
>"What, it doesn't stop you from reading, does it?"<br>You sighed in frustration, and carried on reading. Matt gave you silence for all of two minutes, but then you turned the page.  
>"Hey, I wasn't done!" He whined, trying to turn the page back.<br>"Matt, you're going to rip it. And you can't read it at the same time as me!"  
>"Why not?" He said, still trying to grab the page.<br>"Because you read far too slowly- oh well done, now I've lost the page." He'd knocked the book halfway across the room with his attempts to turn the page back.  
>"317." He said, smugly.<br>"Oh, alright, Mr. Memory." You tried to get off his lap to pick the book up, but he locked his arms round your waist.  
>"Let me get the book!" You tried to release his hands, but you couldn't. "You know Matt, for a small person you are extremely strong."<br>"Why, thank you." He was getting into one of his smug moods now, and you were getting annoyed. Dom chose that moment to walk into the room.  
>"Woah guys, what's going on here?" He said, raising his eyebrows. You gave up the struggling.<br>"It's not what it looks like. Can you please hand me my book?" You pointed to it.  
>"Mmmmmmaybe..." Dom said, and walked extremely slowly across the room before picking it up and holding it just out of your reach.<br>"Oh for god's sake, just give it here!" He finally brought it within your reach and you sat back and, keeping a firm grip on the book, tried to get back into the story.  
><em><em>

_**-2 minutes later-**__**  
><strong>_"Matt, will you stop blowing on my ear?"  
>"I'm not blowing on your ear."<br>"Yes you are!"  
>"No I'm not."<br>"Well... you're not any more... but you _were_!"  
>"Yes, well I've stopped now, so there's no need for you to <em>ask <em>me to stop."  
>"But you only stopped when I- oh never mind." You could almost feel the smug grin as you opened the book again.<br>"Hey guys, guess what?" Dom said, with the post in is hand.  
>"Oh, I give up." You put the book down on the table behind you; it was impossible to read with so many distractions. Dom looked slightly bewildered, but when no-one said 'what', he carried on relentless.<br>"We've been invited to a wedding. Claire and John. Know 'em?"  
>"Yeah.. I think I have an Uncle called John." Matt said.<br>"Well... why are me and Polls invited?" Dom said, and you had to wonder as well.  
>"I have no idea. Just go. It's a wedding- happiness, food... y'know. You don't have to know anyone, just get drunk and talk to random people about your favourite crisp flavour and shit like that. Um... in other words... please come with me?" Matt sounded a bit desperate at the end, and you agreed to go. Dom took a bit longer to persuade.<br>"Dom, come on, it's my Uncle, I have to go, and I'll get bored on my own! Please..." Matt's reasoning didn't seem to work, so you had a try.  
>"Dom. Think of the free alcohol."<br>"Oh fine, I'll go." He said, and you grinned at Matt.  
>"How come I didn't think of the alcohol argument?" He muttered as he walked past you.<br>__

_**-The day of the wedding-**__**  
><strong>_"Polly, you ready?"  
>"Yeah... two seconds!"<br>"She says another ten minutes, Matt."  
>"Dom! I said <em>two<em> _seconds!_"  
>"Yeah... which means ten minutes! I've lived with you long enough to know that!"<br>"Fuck off..." you muttered as you put your earrings in, grabbed a bag and rushed downstairs.  
>"Wow. I haven't seen you in a dress since..." Dom couldn't seem to think of the last time. "You look nice, anyway." He blushed.<br>"Thanks, Dom. Not bad yourself." You smiled at him, and then Matt was rushing you into the car.  
>"Bloody traffic!" Matt shouted as you finally came to a stand-still after ten minutes of crawling along behind a lorry. You were in the back seat, on your own, and feeling quite lonely.<br>"God, that lorry stinks." Dom muttered, turning his head away from the front of the car.  
>"I can't smell it back here..." you said, and in an instant Dom had climbed into the back seat to join you.<br>"No, you're right. Ah, that's better." He grinned at Matt's scowl in the rear-view mirror.  
>"I've got half a mind to just turn back." Matt said. "I don't even know if I <em>know <em>this Uncle."  
>"Well, you can't really turn back at the moment..." you said, indicating the solid traffic, but Matt was busy going through his family names.<br>"Mum had a brother and a sister... no, _two_ sisters, and dad had... a sister. So I don't even have a fucking blood-relative Uncle! Fuck's sake..."  
>"Oh, well done Matt." Dom huffed and scowled out the window at the kids in the car next door.<br>"Dom, leave them alone. Well, at least we've had a... lovely trip out on the motorway, eh?" Your optimism failed to get any smiles from Dom or Matt.  
>A minute of silence passed. Then-<br>"Dom! Those kids do _not_ need to know how to swear! Put your finger _down!_"  
>"Sorry, Polls."<p> 


	5. Episode 5: Do not start a war

"I don't like this bit..." Dom moaned in your ear as the plane took off. "Makes my ears hurt."  
>"Just swallow loads." You replied, staring straight ahead of you. You hated plane journeys.<br>"I'm trying to distract you, y'know." Dom said, taking your hand.  
>"What, by talking about the thing you're trying to distract me from?" You replied, smiling slightly.<br>"Fair point. Ow." He said, wincing.  
>"Swallow, Dom."<br>"I am!"  
>You sighed, and concentrated on counting the number of flight attendants you saw walking around first class, squeezing Dom's hand every time the plane jolted.<p>

"Right, I'm off." Matt said, getting up. The seatbelt light had only _just_ gone off.  
>"Where's he going?" Dom asked, rather loudly.<br>"Shh! He forgot to go to the toilet." You hissed back, smirking. You risked a glance over at Dom, but the window caught your eye as you knew it would, and you found yourself staring out at England from high above. You shuddered.  
>"Polls, concentrate on me. Not the window." Dom knew you hated being so high up, and the view out the window wouldn't help. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, and opened them onto Dom's face, rather than the window. "Better? We're on the ground, ok?" He looked concerned.<br>"Yeah... I'm fine." You reassured him.  
>Matt was back. "Horrible toilets." He said loudly, and one of the air hostesss gave him a <em>look<em>. He raised his eyebrows at them, muttered "It's my opinion!" and sat down, looking slightly disgruntled. "Do they even know _who I am?_" He complained, and you smiled. You were once again just staring stright ahead of you, and that and the fact that you were still gripping Dom's hand rather tightly told Matt that you were very uncomfortable here.  
>"Polly, I'm sorry about this, there's no other way to get across to-" he cut off at a look from Dom.<br>"It's ok, I know we had to do it. Seriously, it's fine."  
>You lapsed into an awkward silence that was finally broken when a air hostess- the one that Matt had 'offended'- brought you some food.<br>"Thanks." You and Dom muttered as she handed you your little silver pots. Matt didn't say anything when he got his.  
>"Matt, do <em>not<em> start a war with the air hostess!" You hissed once she had walked away.  
>"Why not? It's fun." He replied. You gave up. Once Matt decided something was 'fun', there was no stopping him.<br>"You not eating, Matt?" Dom said, his mouth full of food. Matt had opened the pot but hadn't started. He gave Dom a 'shut-up!' look, and Dom obliged, bewildered.  
>The air hostess walked past again, and Matt said in a very loud voice: "Ugh! Should've brought a packed lunch!"<br>"Matt, shut _up!_" You hit his arm, but the air hostess had stopped.  
>"Are you not satisfied with your meal, sir?" She asked in a very purposefully polite voice.<br>"No, its disgusting." Matt smiled his most seductive smile up at her, but she wasn't phased. You raised your eyebrows at Dom.  
>"That's a shame. Shall I get you another? Won't be a minute..." She picked up his untouched food and walked off, smirking profusely.<br>Matt sighed. "She's not coming back, is she." It was a statement, not a question.  
>"Serves you right. Now you'll be hungry." You said, in a 'told-you-so' tone. He considered your point for a couple of seconds.<br>"Um... Polls?"  
>"Yes Matt?"<br>"Can- can I have some of your food please?"  
>You looked at him, and he did the 'please' face, and you couldn't refuse.<br>"Ok then. But only that bit." You seperated the meat and veg into two halves.  
>"Bloody hell, you'd do anything for that face!" Dom snorted from your other side, and you shot him a death-stare.<br>"That's a good point actually..." Matt said, spearing a potato with his fork.  
>"Do you want this food or not?" You said, and he re-considered.<br>"I wouldn't look at him again, just in case." Dom smirked."Wish I had a face that'd make you do anything..." He said, more to himself than to anyone else.  
>"What was that?" You asked, even though you'd heard.<br>"Um... don't look at him again?"  
>"No, the other bit." Your smile got wider.<br>"What other bit..." Dom mumbled, starting to blush, and you decided to let him off.  
>"Don't worry then."<p>

The seatbelt light came back on.  
>"Dom, we're still in the sky." You said, staring at the light.<br>"...well done."  
>"Why is the seatbelt light on?"<br>"Oh... sorry... um... probably turbulence or something..." He was blushing again. Dom blushed so easily.  
>"Is that where it goes all shaky?" You were getting more and more worried.<br>"Yeah, but it won't be too bad, it's nothing to worry about..."  
>"Oh god..." You completely ignored everything except the 'yeah'.<br>"Polly, don't worry about it. Put your seatbelt on." Matt said. When you didn't respond he did it for you.  
>The plane shook, and you grabbed Dom's hand again, squeezing your eyes tightly shut.<br>5 minutes later the announcement came that you were through the turbulence, and you opened your eyes. You looked over at Dom, but he had _his_ eyes squeezed shut.  
>"Dom? Since when are you scared of turbulence?" you asked, and he opened one eye.<br>"I'm not. It's my hand." He said, and you realised you were still squeezing his hand. You abruptly let go, and he started to stretch his fingers out, wincing as he did so.  
>"Shit, I'm really sorry..." You said, but he shook his head, smiling.<br>"Bloody hell. Don't want to be there when _you're_ in labour..." Matt said, peering at Dom's hand from over your shoudler.  
>"Oh fuck off." You said, and settled back into your seat, having had enough of the flight. You just wanted to be on solid ground again.<p>

_**-Ten minutes lateeeeer-**__**  
><strong>_"These seats are bloody uncomfortable." Matt suddenly said, shifting about.  
>"What're you on about? They're fine!" Dom replied.<br>"No, they're awful! And the upholstery is absolutely disgusting- you call this first class!" Matt said. You wondered why he was being so insulting, but then you heard footsteps from behind and you turned round to see the air hostess walking angrily towards you.  
>"Is there a problem, <em>sir?<em>" She said to Matt in a mocking tone.  
>"Yes." He smirked.<br>"...Well? What is it?" She was rapidly becoming less professional- Matt must've really got on her nerves.  
>"I don't have your number yet." Matt said, still smirking.<br>"Oh my god." Dom said from your other side, putting his head in his hands.  
>"What? I'd like to see you do better!" Matt turned round to confront Dom, not being able to resist the temptation to turn the situation into a competition.<br>"Fine then." Dom said, accepting the challenge with confidence. "Any chance I could have your number?" He directed at the air hostess, and she returned his smile.  
>"Certainly." she replied, and scribbled it on a napkin, passing it very deliberately across Matt to Dom, before walking away.<br>"I thank you." Dom said smugly, tucking the napkin away in his jacket.  
>Matt sank down in his seat, the very picture of defeat.<br>"See Matt? Wars don't solve anything." You said smugly.  
>"Shut up."<p> 


	6. Episode 6: And on and on and on

"Yo, Polls." Dom was lying stretched out on your bed, taking up much more room than you thought was humanly possible.  
>"Dooooooom, I'm tiiiiiiired." You flopped on to him, not being careful in the least about hurting him. He was a big boy, he could deal with it.<br>"OOOOOOWWWWWW! _Thatwasmypenisyoubitch..."__  
><em>Oops.  
>"Sowwy, Dommy..." You rolled off him, as there was now much more room on the bed since he'd curled up into a ball.<br>"What's the fuss?" Matt walked in, carrying a towel.  
>"What's with the towel?" You asked as he flung it around his shoulders.<br>"It gives me pleasure. What's with the picture of pain?" He pointed to Dom.  
>"He had an accident." You tried and failed not to smile as Matt dramatically ran over and grabbed Dom's head, jerking it up and peering into his eyes.<br>"_Oh my god Dom!_ You have been..." He paused to take a deep, dramatic breath. "_INFLICTED!_" He looked around the room for a reaction, but there was none.  
>You sighed. "Matt, 'inflicted' could mean anything. Like... someone could be inflicted by a mouldy potato. Or... a balloon. Or..."<br>"An elbow shoved into their man-parts." Dom groaned, shoving Matt on to the floor. But he bounced straight back up again and started parading round the room, tying the towel around himself in different- erm- places each time he reached the mirror. Meanwhile, Dom was playing dead on the bed, groaning unnecessarily loud.  
>"Why am I feeling déjà vu, I wonder?" You said to yourself as pictures of a very hung-over Dom and Matt with a megaphone swam into your head.<br>Not having anything else to do, you decided to check your emails. As soon as you picked the laptop up, however, Matt butted in with "_Don't break it!"__  
><em>"<em>_Matt, for the _last_ time I _won't!_ It's not even your laptop anyway, I don't know why you care so much!" You said, annoyed. Every time you even _touched_ your laptop, Matt always butted in with 'don't break it' or 'be careful with that'. It drove you insane.  
>"No emails... what a waste of time..." you muttered, shutting the laptop down again, but you were swiftly interrupted.<br>"I am the emperor of... neon-green towels. Bow down to me." Matt said in a very low voice, and you rolled your eyes and glanced over at him. Then you did the most _humongous _double take as you realised what he was _wearing.__  
><em>He'd taken his shirt off and had rolled his trousers halfway up his legs, and the green towel was tied between his legs and it looked uncannily like a very strangely coloured nappy.  
>"You really have lost the fucking plot, mate." Dom said from behind you.<br>"Regained your ability to have children?" You asked him, still unable to think of anything to say to Matt.  
>"Just about." He scooted up behind you and whispered in your ear. "Shall we play along?"<br>"I think it's our only option." You replied as you took in Matt's expression. He looked very angry at the lack of bowing that was going on.  
>You and Dom jumped on to the floor and started hailing Matt, with accentuated cries of 'hail the green towel'. It briefly crossed your mind that bowing down to a neon-green towel was probably a first in human history, but you passed the thought off because your life was so mad anyway that it didn't really matter.<br>**  
><strong>*****<strong>**

****Matt's P.O.V ('you' is Matt)**  
><strong>  
>"Err... Dom..." you opened your bedroom door to find Dom with your green towel draped over his head, fast asleep on the bed. You considered calling Polly, but then you decided you wouldn't be able to bear all the gay jokes that would ensue, so you crept in and quietly closed the door. You walked over to your bed, with the intention of getting your towel back and seeing if Dom actually <em>was<em> asleep, and not just planning an ambush on you.  
>You knelt down by his head and slowly began to lift the corner of the towel. When it was halfway off his face you lost your balance and had to catch yourself with your hand behind you to stop you falling off. Unfortunately, this caused a big jolt to run through the bed which promptly woke Dom up. You froze.<br>"U-um... hi."Your voice came out all crackly. You were leaning a bit far over Dom. Or were you? Maybe you were just being paranoid and he'd jump up and make some kind of random joke about... ok shut up Matt.  
>Dom's eyes moved twice once they were open. From you, to the towel, to the bed, and then slowly back to you. Then he too froze.<br>"Hey." He raised a hand and pointed. "...Towel."  
>You raised an eyebrow and slowly pointed to him. "Dom." You pointed to the bed. "Bed." You pointed to the window. "Window." You were beginning to grin as you pointed at yourself. "Ma-"<br>"I get the idea! Now go away." Dom grabbed the towel and placed it back over his head, rolling on to his side. Now the tension was broken you felt a bit more confident in speech.  
>"Can I point out that this is <em>my<em> room, and _my_ bed, and _my _towel, and you are invading _my_ space and I'm really not very happy about it because to be honest I just came in here for a quick nap but then I find someone else in my bed and it's a bit disturbing especially cause its you and what are you doing with tha-"  
>Dom shoved the towel at your face, effectively gagging you. "You're doing it again!" He said, and swiftly jumped over you and off of the bed. You flinched.<br>"Doing _what_, may I ask?"  
>"Rambling on and on and on and on and on and on and on..." Dom continued to repeat himself as you tried to shut him up using the towel. Unfortunately, and you hated to admit it, but he was bigger and stronger than you and managed to fight you off and run down the stairs, still shouting at the top of his voice.<br>"AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON..."

*************

****Your P.O.V**  
><strong>"DOM! WILL YOU SHUT UP!"  
>"AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON..."<br>"Matt, shut him _UP!_" you shouted at Matt as he too thundered down the stairs, holding a towel and looking rather fierce.  
>"What d'you think I'm <em>trying<em> to do?" He called as he raced past you, narrowly missing the edge of the table and almost knocking your laptop on to the floor as he did so. He ran out of the room, but a couple of seconds later he trotted back in again and whispered dramatically behind his hand:  
>"<em>Polly!"<em>_  
><em>"What?" <em>_you copied his dramatized whisper.  
>"<em>Be careful with that laptop!" <em>He winked, and swiftly exited the room.  
>"You have the <em>cheek<em> to tell me that when _you_ almost knocked it off the-" you gave up as you could tell he'd be out of earshot by now, with the racket Dom was still making. 

**3 hours later****  
><strong>You woke up in the middle of the night. You looked at your clock: it read 2am. You intended on rubbing your eyes and trying to get back to sleep. But that wasn't going to happen.  
>"AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND... <em>FUCK!"<em>_  
><em>You went to investigate.  
>The noise had been coming from Matt's room, and when you opened the door you found Dom lying on the floor, looking in considerable pain, with Matt casually sitting on the sofa, looking <em>very<em> pleased with himself.  
>"What've you done?" You directed the question at Dom, but it was Matt who answered.<br>"He decided to wake me up at 2am, so I... retaliated."  
>"Retaliated?" You were slightly scared at Matt's tone of voice on that word. Nobody answered, so you looked pointedly at Dom until he explained.<br>"He poked me in the... gentleman's area with _my own_ drumsticks."  
>"Oh. Oh... dear." You were trying very hard not to laugh.<br>"Don't laugh." Dom said, looking very annoyed.  
>"You deserved it." Matt said in a teasing voice, just trying to get Dom more wound up.<br>"I've already been injured today!" Dom said, glancing at you.  
>"Yes, by <em>accident...<em>" You defended yourself.  
>"Well. I'm going to bed to protect myself from further... <em>harrassment<em>!" Dom stood up- with difficulty- and hobbled off down the corridor.  
>As soon as he was out of sight you and Matt burst out laughing.<p> 


	7. Episode 7: What if I don't want to?

The train stopped and you were shoved forwards as everyone rushed to get on board. Of course, Dom and Matt were at the front, leading the surge. You let them go ahead; there was no way you'd catch up to them now without needlessly shoving countless people out of your way. They'd save you a seat.

You stepped on to the train, one of the last people to do so as you'd been significantly polite to a rather large family, and let them get on before you, causing a large hold-up. And… well, three guesses.

"Oy! What happened to saving me a seat?" You demanded angrily as you made your way over to Matt and Dom.

"We were supposed to save you a seat?" Dom replied in his most innocent voice.

"It would've been the nice thing to do, yes!" You replied angrily, making sure you had a firm grip on one of the metal bars as the train doors began to slide shut.

"There's a difference between 'it would've been the nice thing to do' and 'yes, you _were_ supposed to save me a seat." Matt chipped in.

"_That doesn't help!" _You hissed at him, before Dom could join in with a 'yeah, what he said.'

"Never mind now though. What's done is done. Looks like you'll just have to make use of what you've got." Matt said as he pulled you on to his lap. At exactly the same moment, the train began to move. Unfortunately, the momentum of the carriage and the force of Matt pulling you towards him sent you toppling much closer to him than you'd both expected, and there were plenty of embarrassed looks passed between you and Matt, and everyone in the near area who'd been watching, once you'd extracted your head from under his armpit. Apart from Dom, who just laughed, of course.

10 minutes later, the inevitable happened.

"I feel sick."

You sighed. "Did you take your travel pills, Dom?"

"I can't remember…"

"Take another one now, then."

"Where are they?"

"In your pocket, I should hope…" You gave him a disapproving look as his expression changed from confusion, to realization, to shock, and finally to guilt. "You forgot them, didn't you?" You continued, more of a statement than a question.

"Mhmm." Dom looked down into his lap, feeling thoroughly ashamed of himself.

"_He_ may have forgotten them, but I haven't." Matt said quietly.

You looked at him for a moment, to make sure he wasn't joking.

"You absolute babe." You finally said with a smile as he assured you with his eyes.

"One problem though." Matt said, and now it was his turn to smile.

"Uh oh…" You knew that smile… he was up to something.

"They are currently residing in my back pocket. The left one." He said with a wink, his smile growing ever wider.

"Well, get them out then." You said, reaching out for a metal bar and standing up.

"I can't be arsed."

"Matt, get the pills out."

"Maybe later…"

"Matthew, do you want him to be sick on you?" You indicated Dom, who was looking a bit pale.

"He won't be." Matt was now fully grinning at you.

"Why so sure?"

"Cos I'll move out the way."

"Matt, stop messing about, we're in public." You used your killer line, one that you'd said countless times before.

"I know what we could do, though…" He said, completely ignoring your last sentence, his grin fading to a completely serious expression.

You sighed. "What?"

"You could get them out for me."

"You know what? I can't be arsed." You threw at him, and the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Do you want him to be sick on you?" Matt said in retaliation.

"Can we stop talking about who I'm going to be sick on, please? I'd rather not be sick at all, if it's all the same to you." Dom said, his eyes closed, rubbing his temples.

"Of course. Matt, give me the pills."

"Get them yourself."

"Matt, if you can't be arsed to just stand up and get them out of your own trouser pocket, then-"

"Who said they were in my _trouser_ pocket?" Matt interrupted you, the grin back on his face.

You glared at him for a few seconds. "You must be joking me."

"It's your own fault for making an assumption…" He said, but he could tell he was pushing it now, so he reached under the seat for his rucksack and unzipped the left back pocket. "Ok, I give up. Here you go, Dom." And with a smug smile he handed Dom the little packet and sat back in his seat, thoroughly satisfied. It was a small victory, but you were _not_ in any way amused. As a small act of defiance you chose to resume sitting on Dom's lap rather than Matt's, but this seemed to do little more than increase the grin on Matt's face. So you made a vow: at some point on this blasted train journey, you would get him back.

The train finally reached your stop, and the three of you made your way to the train doors.

"Why won't they open…" Matt whined, trying to open the doors by force.

"Matt, stop that, it's automatic… oh well done!" The red light began to flash and Matt took his hands off the door- but it was too late, he'd jammed the automatic system. There were many grumblings starting up behind you as Matt sheepishly muttered sorry to no-one in particular. You and Dom were highly embarrassed.

After a few minutes the doors finally hissed open to reveal a very grumpy-looking security guard.

"_Mind the gap" _The usual tannoy announcement crackled, ringing out over the station. Dom replied.

"What if I don't _want_ to mind the gap?" He said to the speaker defiantly.

"Dom love, it's a recorded message, it can't hear you." You placed a reassuring hand on his arm as he turned to you, looking slightly confused and hurt.

"Who was fiddling about with the door, then?" The security guard stopped the steady flow of people oozing out of the now fully functional train doors.

"It was him!" Matt pointed at Dom, and then ran for it.

"You…" Dom swiftly followed him, and the rest of his curse was lost in the hustle and bustle of the crowded train station.

You were at your absolute wit's end. You made a mental note never to take the boys on any form of public transport again in the near future, if you could help it.

"I'm so sorry, I…" You began, but the security guard looked slightly out of his depth so you flashed him a quick, apologetic smile before hurrying off to find the boys before they got into even more trouble.

Half an hour later you still couldn't find them.

You'd taken refuge on a bench outside a newsagent in the train station, hoping that sooner or later they'd get bored and come looking for food. You hoped they hadn't done anything stupid…

As you waited on the bench, a large crowd caught your eye from the other side of the station. You inexplicably found yourself drawn to it, and the feeling reminded you of being back in school, where a crowd of people usually meant a fight, and a fight was so rare that you simply _had_ to go and watch. Crowds just attract people. Simple as that.

It wasn't a particularly large crowd, however, and as you descended down the other side of the bridge over the train tracks you could see that it was mostly female. And as you got closer still you began to realize what was going on.

"Great…" you muttered to yourself as you caught a glimpse of Matt's head in the centre of the crowd, with a worried and slightly harassed expression on is face. "…fans. Just what we need."

However, once you caught sight of Dom you could see straight away that he was absolutely loving it, like he always does. You tried to push your way through the crowd, but there was no way through, and people were shouting at you: "Wait your turn!", "What makes you more special then the rest of us?" You could see there was going to be no easy way to get to the boys until the crowd dispersed, and knowing Dom, that could take some time.

But then… "Polly!" A pale hand reached out and grabbed your wrist, pulling you through the growing mass of fan girls until you were at Matt's side. "Save me, please…" He whispered in your ear.

You were about to reply when Dom shouted in your ear.

"What time to we need to do stuff and shit?"

"Excuse me?"

"I said…" He raised his voice even more.

"You don't have to shout!"

"Oh. Sorry." He lowered his voice this time, and you smiled in encouragement, although your right eyebrow was raised rather exasperatedly. "I meant is there any specific time we need to do something or go somewhere?" He said.

Finally understanding, you pulled out your phone to check the time. "Um… we have another 15 minutes before we need to get a move on." You muttered to yourself, methodically working things out in your head.

As soon as you said the words, you wished you hadn't.

"Well girls, we're only here for another 15 minutes so I guess…" Dom announced. You tuned out at that point, you'd heard enough of Dom's 'crowd pleaser' lines to last you five and a half lifetimes. Instead, you replied to Matt.

"Save you? I don't think you deserve it, after the _back pocket_ stunt on the train…" you said with a smile, which he didn't return.

"Please, get me back for that somewhere else, just not here. I don't feel well."

"Don't you? Maybe we should-" Unfortunately, you were once again interrupted by Dom, who seemed to be answering a question one of the fans had just asked.

"This? This is Polly."

"Yeah, and who _is_ she?" A particularly large blonde woman asked.

"She's my fuck buddy. Dom, can we go now?" Matt said. The whole crowd seemed to go a little quieter.

"_Excuse me?_" You confronted him, highly offended.

"I was _joking_…" Matt dragged the word out to emphasize his ever more obvious wish to leave. However, the crowd was now getting loud again, with most of the shouts and questions directed at you. And Matt was whining in your ear, just making it worse. So you decided to leave Dom to it and get out of there, and seeing as Matt had attached himself to your arm, he managed to escape as well.

"Phew, thanks." He smiled at you.

"You weren't meant to get out as well." You said stubbornly, and yanked your arm from his grip, trying not to wince as his long fingers bruised your arm.

He pouted at you. "That's not very nice."

"It's called revenge, Matt." You replied, wondering to yourself how he managed to have such a split personality: all sly and 'quietly clever' on the train, and now here he was, whimpering and pouting like a child.

He just huffed and looked away. But you guessed he wouldn't be able to stay quiet for long, and you were right. "Polls, how long is it since we left that crowd?"

"About 49 seconds." You said sarcastically, actually having no idea how long it had been, since you hadn't even checked your watch. But Matt took your word for it.

"So that's 14 minutes and 11 seconds to go, then…" He muttered as he made his way over to a bench, lazily slouching on it once he was there. You were about to go and join him when a very annoyed Dom grabbed your shoulder and turned you around. You noticed that a few of the more loyal fans had followed him over.

"They keep asking about you! I've tried to get them to ask stuff about me, but they keep asking about _you_… and _I_ don't know what your bloody star sign is!"

You had to pause for a couple of seconds just to take all of that in. "Oh… well, that's a shame now, isn't it…" You glanced over his shoulder at the expectant-looking fans, and winced. "Er… Dom…" You muttered.

"What?" He huffed.

"Hey, no need for that tone of voice!" You scolded, and he muttered an apology. "I was just, erm, wondering if you could possibly get rid of all these people, we kind of have to go now…" You were lying, you knew that you really had about ten minutes left, but you just wanted to get rid of the fans.

"Why should _I_ do it? Get Matt to do it!" Dom said stubbornly, folding his arms and pouting. You tried to ignore the way that the fans all simpered over your best friend's 'gorgeous' pout, and grabbed Matt's arm.

"Hey-" He began, but Dom had got the idea, and he grabbed Matt's other arm.

"Mr. Bellamy will talk to you now." Dom said in a very businessman-like voice, and you both pushed Matt with all your might into the centre of the crowd.

"You fuckers!" Matt shouted, but anything else he had to say was soon drowned out by all the adoring female voices, and you and Dom ran off, sniggering.

"He's gonna kill us…" Dom sang to a little tune as you both stopped to catch your breath.

"Yeah, but it's worth it, huh?" You replied.

"Mhmm." Dom agreed. "And besides, you got your revenge…"

"What, for the back pocket thing? Oh no, I was planning something _much_ worse for that…" You wiggled your eyebrows, and you and Dom spent the next five minutes plotting and scheming away, until a very harassed looking Matthew came stumbling around the corner, cheeks covered in lipstick, demanding a refund.

"A refund for what?" You asked, trying to wipe some of the kiss marks off of his cheeks.

"A what? I never said that…" He said, slightly cross eyed.

"What did they _do_ to him?" You muttered to Dom, who just shrugged, giggling into his hand. You rolled your eyes and went back to work with the tissue on Matt's cheek, trying very hard not to laugh.


End file.
